Election Photo Oppertunities: The Best and The Worst

 

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David Miliband really doesn’t like surprise birthdays

 

It is astonishing how important image can be for politicians. Photo ops are carefully crafted, with whole teams dedicated to ensuring that their candidate will not end up looking foolish. Its not hard to remember some of the more recent gaffs; Ed Milband eating a bacon sandwich, his brother David being terrified of ballons or Gordon Brown looking ridiculous wearing a helmet spring to mind. And while the most memorable photos from campaigns tend to be the leaders looking silly some can show the true nature of the candidate. Here is a look at the best and the worst.

Nicola goes bowling

 

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Dope new album dropping soon

Nicola Sturgeon went bowling last week and it provided a number excellent photos. However, this was by far my favourite. Here it looks like she’s trying to appeal to both young and old by combining a sport in which participants tend to be older, whilst also looking as though she’s about to release the sickest grime album of the year.  It’s the expression, the hands and the jacket that all combine so perfectly. Also, the fact that she genuinely looks as though she’s enjoying herself brings this one higher in the rankings. All she’s lacking a gold chain. A stroke of genius. 8/10

 

Tim gets chased by a dog

 

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Tim prances through a field

 

This one is harder to judge. Tim Farron either looks like he is having the time of his life or he was traumatised by a dog at a young age and that’s the reason for the brown trousers. Either way, it makes him look human like he can experience emotions like happiness or fear. You know, like a normal person. Connecting with the electorate was probably one of the Lib Dems leaders problems but this picture definitely helps solve that problem. 6/10

Willie meets some floating voters

 

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Can you spot the odd one out?

 

While on the subject of the Lib Dems here is a picture of their Scottish leader, Willie Rennie, with two alpacas. I’m not quite sure what the context is here or if this a good or a bad photo. With his eyes not looking at the camera, it looks like he’s spotted an even better looking alpaca in the distance meaning that he’s going to abandon these two, leaving them to fend for themselves. Or perhaps he looks like one of Cruella DeVille’s henchmen and he is leading them to the slaughter for her new coat. Who knows eh? 7/10

Jeremy plays ball

 

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Arsene Wenger is keeping tabs on this excellent English prospect

 

Pardon the pun but Jeremy Corybn has scored an own goal with this one. A middle age man, no matter what his profession, should not be playing football, with a shirt and cream trousers on, in public. I can understand the awkwardness of this photo. He most likely had arrangements later and he can be showing up caked in mud. What baffles me, even more, is why he made the choice to go in goals? Surely he’s capable of playing the same flowing, passing game of his beloved Gunners. Instead, he shot himself in the foot. 3/10

Theresa tries to act normal

 

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All she’s missing is a pint and she’d be the spitting image of Nigel Farage

 

Eating. Nobody looks good eating. So why when you know the nation’s media is watching you would you go on an eat in public. Its never going to end well. To be fair, at least she’s not been caught mid-bite and is eating something relatively normal. Although I can’t say I can imagine Theresa May eating chips t any other time than during an election.  5/10

Jeremy wins the heart of the nation

 

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Whisper sweet nothings to me.

 

Oh Jezza, what a heart throb. Look at how intensely he’s smelling that rose. If only he could give it to the entire nation then, maybe, just maybe, we might all fall in love with him and not just his progressive policies. 9/10

Tim sells his used car

 

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I wouldn’t buy a used car from him.

 

There is nothing in this picture that is good for Tim Fallons image. The handshake and the smile make it look like he’s just managed to get rid of a banger that won’t even make it to the end of the road. Or perhaps as he’s gone to shake this ladies hand he’s done a very audible fart which everyone is now laughing at. Either way, this is a masterclass in how not to look like the next leader of the country.
1/10

Theresa’s 9th of June

On the back of an election defeat which she should have won, Theresa May contemplates what went wrong.

It was the next day and she was still in shock. Twenty points ahead when she announced the election. How could she have lost such a resounding lead? Theresa knew where she had gone wrong but there was nothing that she could do about it now. Fox hunting, it had all started with fox hunting. She couldn’t help it if she loved the sight of one beast tearing another to shreds. I mean, it goes down better in the opinion polls than ripping poor children apart. And the public could never know about how she fantasised about that, just like they couldn’t know the pleasure that Dave gained from buggering that pig. She supposed that hadn’t been his final blow. But that had been where it started.

 

It was all the small things that built upon each other until the public’s opinion became insurmountable. Who would have thought that people, rich and poor, would not want their family homes taken while their bodies were still warm? Worse still was the u-turn and, worse yet, the fact the public had figured out that it wasn’t even a u-turn.  She would have to ensure that Rupert had calibrated his societal brain conversion rags properly next time. She knew that after that fiasco she hadn’t looked “strong and stable”, that she had started to lose control.

 

As she sipped on her brandy her hand began to shake. She was thinking about the man who stole it, her premiership, away from her. Jeremy. Holier than thou, Jeremy. He was everything she wasn’t. Principled, able to smile and, the trait she hated most, one of the people. Theresa couldn’t get his socialist ideals out of her head. Who would have thought that he would have made sure that his manifesto had been fully costed? Who would have thought that he would pledge not to snatch lunches from almost one million children, build more houses for the young and that the vast majority of people wouldn’t mind taxing her pals a bit more in order to fund the NHS. Never mind that he believes that the Human Rights Act was a good thing. Typical Communist.  Theresa still couldn’t believe it. He was supposed to be the one running the dysfunctional party, not her.

 

The party machine had thought it would try a new way to smear Jeremy. He had been in contact with members of the IRA around the time of the Good Friday Agreement. Their friends in the press had pressured him about this. But he was prepared. He pointed out the hypocrisy of the attacks on him for talking to members of the IRA while the government actively supplies the Saudi Arabian government with tanks, aircraft and weapons to fight illegal wars. No attempt was being made to try and discuss a peaceful settlement. Surely that must be worse than conversing with IRA affiliates he said? Theresa had tried explaining that we needed the money from the Saudi’s so that we could fund services like the NHS, without taxing her fox mauling pals more.

 

Panic overcame her like the landslide the day before. How was she going to explain the extra nine-hundred-million that had been added to the deficit? She had only been in power for a number of months, true, but she had been part of the government for the past seven years. She had wasted millions on trying to curb immigration, was all but useless when campaigning against Brexit. She was as guilty as Hunt and Boris. She would have to deflect, be strong, be stable.

 

Theresa had decided that she would remain the leader of the conservative party, the only remain that she had ever felt strongly about. She had only been the leader for a matter of months. Her species life span would be able to survive for a great number of year, meaning that she could slowly wear down the electorate, until such a time as Rupert could be relied on again. Until then, she decided, she would have to re-enter her tomb. And wait.

Is Theresa Mays image worse than Jeremy Corbyns?

If you had asked a Labour supporter what they would have wanted from Jeremy Corbyn’s first manifesto you would have expected them to bite your hand off. And yet his image continues to be a problem

If you had asked a Labour supporter what they would have wanted from Jeremy Corbyn’s first manifesto you would have expected them to bite your hand off. Nationalisation in several different sectors? Check. Slightly increaing tax on the rich to maintain lower it for the poor? Check. Guarantee the triple lock on pensions and more free childcare? Check and double check. So why then are Labour voters, those that have supported the party both pre- and post the Blarite revolution, suddenly abandoned their side at this vital time?

 

Well, thats can be answered in a single word; image. Corbyn doesn’t have the same smooth talking style of Tony Blair. He looks awkward in a suit. You can just tell that he would rather be wearing his mums’ homemade jumper, in which the wool is naturally sourced, instead of the suit that was most likely produced by a sweatshop that he is morally obliged to be disgusted by. He doesn’t even attempt to put up the same sort of centrist front of his predecessor, poor old Ed. Unlike the last generation of Labour leaders he has something else. Strong beliefs. Beliefs that he has held dear all his life. An end to inequality, not just at home but all over the world. The belief that the state should be there to protect those that cannot protect themselves, such as the poor. This is what could make him such a revolutionary leader. The fact that he is not campaigning on policies that have been developed by think tanks aimed at attracting the most voters, but that he is campaigning on principles. The same principles which he has had for decades. Principles over which he defied his party countless times, not because he was being a tricky backbencher, but because he was representing the people of his constituency.

 

So why then has Corbyn have an image problem? People just don’t trust him. Sure he might have some of the most progressive views in modern British politics but with almost a quarter of the electorate being over 65 he just doesn’t appeal to enough people.That’s why in recent weeks he has been trying to connect with what would be his key demographic, the 18-25 year olds. Meeting with grime artists such as JME and Stormzy has given Corbyn a new platform from which to spread his message. But he cannot stop there. In order to win this election, he has to be seen with more and more celebrities in order to attract more young people, but he also has to start appealing to the older generations. And Theresa May has just given him the perfect opportunity to do so.

 

Everyone fears death and everyone hates tax. So the Tories “Death Tax” could not have come at a more perfect time for Corybn. They’ve also pledged to take away the winter fuel allowance for, potentially, millions of pensioners. I say potentially as the government will attempt to make the allowance means tested but have yet to indicate what these means will be. The triple lock on the state pension is also to be removed, downgrading to a double lock. This will be of concern to those that are starting to think about accessing their pension, as it could mean that they have to work longer in order to have enough on which to comfortably retire.

 

This marks a Tory shift away from focusing their policies on the older generations but it does not mark a shift towards targeting young voters. This can be seen in the Tories total lack of credible policy when it comes to housing for young people. Remember this is the party that has changed the system so that those under the age of 21 are not eligible for housing benefit, effectively creating a new generation of homeless. It also seems that food banks are being so successful that May feels that the government should no longer give out free school dinners for those children in the most vulnerable households. And a free vote on fox hunting on reversing the ban on fox hunting to top it all off. Ask yourself how many votes that is likely to win. Is that really putting the nation first, or is that peddling to the “strong and stable” donators of the Tories that are trying to push their own agenda?

 

Now read this article again and ask yourself this; who really has the image problem?